This week, Ben and Lewis take a look at the bleak but triumphant Dunkirk, the also bleak but triumphant War for the Planet of the Apes, and try to stay optimistic about The Dark Tower… It’s a real fun episode, folks!
I know, I know, we’re late again for the American audience, but hey, I’m lazy. Sue me. Anyway, here’s our review-cap for what could possibly be the greatest episode of Game of Thrones ever. Enjoy!
Allergy Warning: May contain spoilers.
Lewis: I don’t think I’m exaggerating when I say that “The Battle of the Bastards” was potentially the best Game of Thrones episode we’ve ever seen.
Ben: I don’t think you are, it’s definitely the best one I can remember. Perhaps because the good guys won for a change? Anyway, where do you want to start?
Lewis: It’s probably going to go downhill from here, but it really was nice to have an episode where everything hung in the balance as usual but the good guys actually came out on top. As for where to start, shall we talk about Dany’s little battle before talking about the main event?
Ben: Yeah go on then, let’s get the side show out of the way. All the dragons came together to kick some ass with some solid computer generated effects.
Lewis: They were a lot more impressive than they have been in the past, and we got a nice look at just how powerful they can be (and they’ll only get stronger as they grow).
Ben: They will indeed, the Masters didn’t stand a chance. So, now Dany has crippled the masters and removed the Sons of the Harpy, surely she is going to Westeros next with the help of the two Greyjoy’s?
Lewis: Well I don’t think the Masters are entirely finished yet, but given the incredible pace at which this season has been moving I wouldn’t be at all surprised if she turned up at Kings Landing at the end of the finale.
Ben: In past seasons it would have taken the entire 10 episodes for Dany to get away from the Dothraki, so you may be right. What do you make of the Tyrion/Dany/Greyjoy meeting?
Lewis: I really enjoyed that scene, especially the dynamic between Dany and Yara with the casual flirting (potential relationship?) Although the one gripe I have is that they seemed to manage to get to Meereen very, very, quickly considering just how far away it is from the Iron Islands.
Ben: It was quite entertaining, and I kind of get that vibe, but I don’t think anything will come of it.
I suppose you are right there but we don’t know how much time passed, and if I am being honest, I’d much rather things jump forward cutting unimportant parts rather than drag everything out.
Lewis: The thing is that journeys have always played a big role in the development of characters in Game of Thrones, like the Hound and Arya, Jamie and Brienne, and when the Starks headed down to King’s Landing, so it’s a shame for them to skip this particular one, especially when the characters (Yara in particular) aren’t as fleshed out as others… I do see your point though.
Ben: I take your point, perhaps she will be focused on more in the next series. Do you want to move to the main event?
Lewis: Yeah I suppose we should, considering just how goddamn epic the entire thing was.
Ben: So epic I don’t really know where to start. I suppose the first confrontation between the bastards Jon and Ramsey, where Jon tries to play the game attempting to get Ramsey to over commit and make a mistake. Which, to be honest, probably played a hand in Rickon’s very public execution.
Lewis: Yes, although as Sansa said, I think Rickon was dead no matter what they did. It was interesting to finally see Jon and Ramsey meet, even if it was just to trade (kind of) witty banter and promise each other death. Sansa also got quite a nice snide remark in too, which was satisfying.
Ben: Oh yeah, but I think Jon’s attempt to goad Ramsey was the reason why he killed him the way he did. Then we had the confrontation between the siblings in the tent about the plan for the next day.
Lewis: Yeah, that was pretty good, and Sansa did have a good point about her not being a kid anymore. However, WHY DIDN’T SHE TELL JON ABOUT LITTLEFINGER? They could have planned a tactic that still would have caused Ramsey to engage his entire force without getting most of Jon’s army killed! For all she knew Jon could have died!
Look, I’m happy that Sansa has turned into a bit of a badass, but that doesn’t justify gambling on her family’s lives.
Ben: I did wonder why she did what she did, I suppose she didn’t want Jon to stop her from going for help? I am definitely happy she is finally standing up for herself though.
Lewis: I’m not that happy about it, she’s spent too much time around Littlefinger for my liking…
Ben: Shall we move onto the harrowing battle?
Lewis: I suppose we should mention just how incredible/disturbing/depressing that sequence was.
Ben: It was incredibly grim, but at the same time wonderfully shot with incredible sound-editing which came together to produce the harrow, grim reality of medieval warfare.
Lewis: Oh yeah, the direction of this episode was absolutely superb. My favourite shot was when Jon was getting ready to face his doom at the hands of the charging cavalry, I got goosebumps over that scene. The follow-up continuous shot was pretty awesome too.
Ben: It was pretty relentless, I was edging closer and closer to the edge of my seat throughout.
Lewis: Just to clarify, I never, ever talk/shout at the TV for anything, but this episode I was continuously swearing at the characters, muttering “no, no, no” and punching the air with excitement. I tip my hat to the creators for this one, top job. I was convinced that Tormund or Ser Davos were going to die though.
Ben: Oh yeah, there was a lot of shouting on my end, and I honestly thought Tormund was a goner too. So much for your theory about the Umber’s changing side when it came down to the fight.
Lewis: Hey, listen, that’s not “my theory”, I read it online…
Ben: Well you mentioned it here so, by association, it is your theory.
Lewis: That won’t hold up in court and you know it
Anyway, I’m glad Tormund didn’t die, and, to be honest, I know Wun Wun was a great guy and all, but if anyone had to go I’m glad it was him.
Ben: At least Wun wun died like a hero, he became a character I really wanted to see because he was a bad ass.
Lewis: Yeah he was a big brave bastard…
Speaking of bastards, how bloody satisfying was it to see Jon beat the shit out of Ramsay?
Ben: Some heroes hold the door, others break them down.
Never has a more vile character deserved such a grim ending.
Lewis: Indeed, it was nice to see the smug, sadistic smile slip from Ramsey’s face. It was also nice to see the Direwolf banner being raised over the battlements of Winterfell once more.
Ben: Got bloody goosebumps as the Stark emblem was raised. What do you make of the Sansa Ramsey confrontation before his grim death?
Lewis: I liked that Sansa finally served the justice we’ve all been waiting for, and he deserved everything he got, but I’m still worried about the direction she’s headed in.
Ben: Yes, after all she has gone through she deserved some violent vengeance. What do you make of Ramsey comments about always being a part of her? I’ve read a theory that she’s pregnant with a Bolton baby?
Lewis: To be honest I really don’t buy that theory, and I really hope it isn’t true because it feels a little weak. I’m certain he just meant that his abuse of her has changed the way she treats other people and views the world (like the way she manipulated Jon), and that he has had a lasting effect upon her mentally, becoming part of her.
Ben: Your theory makes a lot more sense, and you are right it would be a weak plot decision. Just thought it was worth a mention, even if it was to hopefully debunk it.
Lewis: It was definitely worth a mention, and it might even come true because of how ambiguous it was (although I hope it doesn’t). So next episode it looks as though Ser Davos will be confronting the Red Woman over the burning of Stannis’ daughter.
Ben: It was a nice little scene with Davos and Tormund before he found the burnt stag. I was a bit worried it would affect his judgement in the battle, but it seems like he will be after some redemption in the next episode instead.
Lewis: Ah yeah, that was a good scene, I’m glad they’re getting along. I don’t think he’s confirmed his fears just yet, but he’s definitely suspicious. It’ll be interesting to see what Jon makes of it all, since he’ll probably be the one who has to pass judgement.
Ben: So am I, two top-blokes right there. It would be an interesting watch as he battles between the two sides.
Lewis: Indeed, punish the Red Woman for burning a child or deny Ser Davos justice in order to keep her counsel… I suppose that’s just about it then?
Ben: I guess it is. What a bloody good episode.
Lewis: The best yet I reckon. Bring on the season six finale then!
Ben: Hear, hear!
A day late yet again (at least for the USA and those of us who prefer to add the spice of illegality to our Game of Thrones), here is our review-cap for Game of Thrones: The Broken Man. As usual there are a bunch of spoilers in this piece, so only read on if; A) You’ve seen the episode and forgotten it already, B) You haven’t seen it, can’t be bothered to watch it, and want to catch up via text for some reason, or C) You literally have nothing else to do.
Anyway, here we go.
Ben: Quite a few interesting things came up in this week’s episode…
Lewis: Hell yeah they did. He’s back!
Ben: The Hound.
Lewis: The one and only.
Ben: Bloody love that guy. I also quite liked Ian Mcshane’s character.
Lewis: I know right? I was pretty annoyed that he was only in one episode, but I suppose it was some good motivation for the Hound.
Ben: Just to clarify – He died – yeah I was a bit worried he was losing his desire to kill anyone who crossed him. I pity the guys who killed all those people; the Hound means business.
Lewis: I suppose we should include that bit of information. I don’t really mind if he doesn’t want to kill anyone, but if this is what it takes to get him back in the action then I’m all for another revenge plot.
Ben: A bit a background: The Hound was found by Mcshane’s character as close to death as you can get following his fight with Brianne. Mcshane, who turned out to be a former soldier turned Septon, took The Hound in and fixed him up. Mcshane had a more liberal view on the gods making him a pretty likeable bloke, but as with all likeable characters in GoT he died, hung from the rafters of the church he was building by the Brotherhood without Banners. And now The Hound we love is back.
Lewis: Well I mean I’m sure most people reading this have seen the episode and know about that…
Ben: You should have been a bit clearer, just wasted five minutes thinking and typing that.
Lewis: Awfully sorry old chap. I’m just interested to see what he’s going to do now/who he’s going to interact with. He has to re-join the main plot right?
Ben: I am sure he will, he might even get involved with the events at Riverrun (nice segue).
Lewis: That’s true, and maybe he’ll meet Brienne again at the siege? What did you make of The Blackfish?
Ben: I’d want them to have a fight again and for the Hound to win, but then again I’d rather the good guys win overall. As for The Blackfish I actually quite like him, he seems like a pretty hard guy, but the battle hardened old warrior is pretty likeable in his own way. He had an interesting exchange with Jaime.
Lewis: Yes, and while I think the Hound will want revenge, Ian McShane’s character has hopefully convinced him that it’s not worth it, maybe they’ll reconcile?
Mmm, he definitely seems like a take-no-shit kinda guy… As for his exchange with Jamie, I really enjoyed that scene. We know the kind of guy he is and how he contrasts against Jamie’s personality now.
Ben: I doubt we’ll see any happy reconciliations. He appears to be one of those classic GoT grey characters that isn’t a saint but they make the show enjoyable. It should be a fairly enjoyable subplot away from the Starks and Kings Landing. Speaking of which, the formation of the Stark army hasn’t gone to plan has it?
Lewis: No not exactly… I’m a fan of Lady Mormont though, for a child actor she was pretty good, and it was a funny, if slightly saddening, scene. So they have a grand total of about 2200 men and women?
Ben: The entire sequence of asking and rejection was incredibly saddening, but I do agree that she is at another level compared to most child actors (even, dare I say it, compared to many of the other young actors within Game of Thrones itself). I think the North has reached its breaking point, there is only so much they can take.
Lewis: Well they may soon be receiving aid in the form of Littlefinger and the Knights of the Vale; I assume that’s who Sansa was writing to anyway? And maybe The Blackfish can offer some aid too?
Ben: Probably, but I think the Starks and Littlefinger will need to help the Blackfish before he can help them.
Lewis: They’re both in a bit of a poor situation, my prediction is Littlefinger will come and help, they’ll attack Winterfell, the Umbers will turn on the Boltons, then they’ll make their way down south to kill the Freys, rescue Edmure and help the Blackfish. Or they’ll all die trying. Who knows?
Ben: Maybe, once they get a bit more support with the arrival of the Vale, Northern Houses like the Glovers will come around? I mean, I would like things to happen that way but this is Game of Thrones not a Marvel Movie, things rarely go to plan.
Lewis: I don’t know, it feels different this season, and I’ve been trying to put it into words but I can’t quite put my finger on it. I don’t know whether it’s a different writing staff or what, but it feels more hopeful and fast-paced than it used to (which isn’t necessarily a good thing). But you’re probably right, it’s not going to go to plan. So apart from quickly mentioning the return of Bron (fuck yes!), shall we move to King’s Landing?
Ben: I see your point but from what I have read they are deliberately trying to pick up the pace of the series. I suppose we should move southwards, and it appears, as we thought, Margaery was playing the game all along.
Lewis: Thankfully. I would’ve been annoyed if she wasn’t. I’m really hoping nothing bad happens to Olenna now; that would be a tragedy. As for Cersei, it looks like she’s on her own now…
Ben: Olenna was not mincing her words was she? She can’t die, but at the same time I want to see a fair amount of her; such a waste of her character if she stays hidden away in High garden.
Lewis: I know what you mean, but I’d rather her be hidden away in High Garden than killed in King’s Landing. Who knows, maybe we’ll get to see some of High Garden? I’d like that.
Ben: Olenna is no friend of the Lannisters. Perhaps the Tyrell’s could be persuaded to help the Starks?
Lewis: That would be awesome, but if that could be the case I think it’s a long way off yet. Is it just Arya now then?
Ben: She was so confident walking the streets of Bravos, she was always going to be found by the Waif and she was.
Lewis: There’s definitely more to her actions than we’ve been led to think though. One of the more believable theories is that she was intentionally drawing out the Waif by wandering around spending money, and was wearing blood bags (supplied by her theatre friend) to feign being wounded, then her blood trail will lead the Waif to her where she’ll have Needle waiting.
Ben: I haven’t read that, but it does sound believable.
Lewis: I prefer that theory to them just writing her to be a fucking moron wandering around thinking she’s in no danger. Makes a lot more sense…
Ben: I suppose that is true. It will be interesting to see how the 4 different storylines play out and merge together.
Lewis: Indeed, we’re definitely getting close to some kind of alliance between houses. Before we finish, I just realised that we forgot about Theon and Yara stopping off for some sweet poontang.
Ben: Yeah, Theon is now being pressured into drinking. Seems like they have taken their Uncles idea of selling their fleet to Dany then.
Lewis: I’m pretty happy about that, I think they’re a slightly better choice than their uncle… This was nice moment between Yara and Theon too, even if it was a little blunt.
Ben: Yeah, she was doing it because she wants her brother back.
Lewis: Indeed. Besides, if they do team up with Dany, Theon will have a pretty good support group in the Unsullied; they know a thing or two about not having penises.
Ben: I am sure he is looking forward to group therapy sessions with the Unsullied about their lack of a Johnson.
Lewis: Who wouldn’t? Well I guess that’s that for this week then?
Ben: I think we have covered everything.
Lewis: Awesome, bring on next week’s episode!
Apologies for the lack of a review-cap for episode 5, but I’m afraid that episode (despite being a pretty important one) will have to stay lost in the annals of time. However, we’re back now and ready to talk about last week’s episode, Blood of my Blood.
Spoilers lie ahead…
Lewis: Alright, alright, alright, shall we get this thing on the road?
Ben: I think we should. Where do you want to start, the end of last week’s episode or straight into the latest episode?
Lewis: I think a brief moment of silence for Hodor should be enough… RIP
Ben: It was pretty hard viewing, he held the door.
Lewis: While Bran, who is beginning to become a very dislikeable character, got away. But oh well, it’s done now.
Ben: Yeah, how many more people need to die for him to make a meaningful contribution? He got Max von Sydow killed too. Anyway, shall we move onto the latest episode and the return of a long forgotten character?
Lewis: Hell yeah, Benjen Stark is back. I’ve been waiting for this for a very, very long time
Ben: He’s back with some Dragon Glass stuck in his heart, and to be fair he is pretty badass now.
Lewis: I’m just glad he’s not dead, although he looks a bit worse for wear. I’m interested to see where he takes Bran and (Meera?) now though, and just how important Bran actually is.
Ben: I think you would look worse for wear too if you had a fight with the Night King. He had better be important; enough people have died.
Lewis: Well Benjen Stark certainly seemed to think so, and I doubt he’d be wrong about that. So who shall we mention next?
Ben: Kings Landing, the Sparrows and the Lannisters? Or Sam going home?
Lewis: Let’s talk about Sam and his bitter old dad…
Ben: The worst dad in the world. Bit awkward round the dinner table wasn’t it?
Lewis: It was, but Gilly showed him what’s what, and I really didn’t expect Sam to take that sword. So now the three people with Valaryian steel blades are Jon, Brienne and Sam, which is cool I guess.
Ben: She did indeed, and I was a bit surprised by him taking it too; it is just a shame Sam has no idea how to use the bloody thing.
Lewis: Haha! Maybe he’ll pass it onto someone who does? I just hope his dad doesn’t catch him now.
Ben: let’s hope he gets away, but knowing Game of Thrones his father will end up finding him.
Lewis: Probably, but we shall see I guess… We got a brief insight into what’s been going on with Waldo Frey at the moment too.
Ben: We know he is losing the River lands and Riverrun thanks to the work of the Black Fish, but he appears to have a few cards up his sleeve unfortunately.
Lewis: Indeed, and although I don’t know much about this Blackfish guy, if he’s against that son of a bitch Waldo Frey I’m happy for him. The bad news is that Jamie Lannister is about to come and kick his doors down.
Ben: He was in series 3 briefly; he seemed like an alright bloke. You never know, if he can hold out until a northern army reforms they might be able to get him out of trouble. Or maybe the Knights of the Vale will rock up and bail him out?
Lewis: I feel like Baelish will end up helping whoever looks like they’re going to win, which will hopefully be Blackfish’s forces, and then Jon and Sansa may actually have a chance of taking the north back.
Ben: Well in an interview Aiden Gillen said his character wasn’t going to be a bad guy in this series. But we shall have to wait and see, hopefully the good guys can get a win.
Lewis: Oh come on he’s always a bad guy, I doubt he can redeem himself now. It would be nice to finally see the Starks back on top again though.
Ben: Hey, don’t shoot the messenger, I am just telling you what I have read.
Lewis: Alright, alright I just don’t trust that guy. I don’t like what he’s about. We also had that business with the High Sparrow in King’s Landing.
Ben: Good old Tommin has been as wet as ever and has turned into one of the High Sparrow’s minions.
Lewis: Yes we have yet another Lannister sending the entire kingdom into a spiralling dive towards destruction I liked Jamie and Olenna’s plan, but they got played pretty nicely…
Ben: It was a nice idea but I could always see something like this happening.
Lewis: Despite how badly it went I’m sure Margaery has something up her sleeve, there’s no way she’s actually begun to believe in that religion. I think the High Sparrow will get a little too cocky now he’s won this battle.
Ben: It does look like she played the game to enable her to escape. Things are going well for the sparrows which generally means they are about to get a right good kicking.
Lewis: I look forward to it immensely… In other news, the Mother of Dragons gave yet another generic inspiring speech, which, to be honest, was a little pointless.
Ben: Yeah, “look at me more generic Dothraki people that aren’t important. I can ride a dragon and am going to go across the sea and take the crown at some point in the not too distant future… maybe… probably… I’ll get round to it eventually”… that sums it up I think.
Lewis: I think that’s a good breakdown. Oh and I liked the little “You’d need a thousand ships to bring your army to Westeros” line, considering the fact that that was pretty much the number that Theon’s uncle planned to build… very convenient.
Ben: So we know what is going next in the not too distant future…. maybe… probably at some point.
Lewis: Yes, and if Danaerys teams up with the uncle, is she really a hero? Or will she become a villain?
Ben: An interesting question, I think she may become a Villain by association. Depends what uncle Greyjoy gets up to next I suppose.
Lewis: Yes, indeed it does. So I guess that just leaves us with Arya’s attack of conscience and decision to leave the House of Black and White? (Which I’ve been hoping for to be honest).
Ben: It was inevitable, she now just has to avoid the Faceless Man’s sidekick.
Lewis: Or stab her through the eye with Needle?
Ben: That would work, but would the Faceless Man then come after her? I doubt she could handle him.
Lewis: I’m sure that’s the way this whole thing will work out, but who knows, maybe she’ll get lucky? I think it’ll be much more interesting if it’s the Faceless Man after her.
Ben: I would be pretty scared for her well-being if I’m honest.
Lewis: But it’ll be fun though!
Ben: I’ll take your word for it. Anything else?
Lewis: No I’m pretty sure that’s about it.
Lewis: Awesome, I guess we’ll see you all next week then for another Game of Thrones Review-Cap.
Well, unfortunately Ben’s University work and revision has caught up with him, so I’m afraid I’m going solo for this Game of Thrones review-cap. I know what you’re all (probably not) thinking, how, Lewis, will you deliver the quality content that we’re used to on your own? I see where you’re coming from, reader, and obviously our usual format wouldn’t really work in this situation, because it would probably end up like this-
Lewis: So that bit was really cool in this specific episode of Game of Thrones
Lewis: Yeah that is so like that character, and how about this other character’s horrific death?
Lewis: That was pretty nasty, and speaking of nasty I see they’ve brought back the incest.
Lewis: Well I read a fan theory about that, and it could lead to some interesting plot developments
Lewis: I can’t wait to see the further implications of these events in these places
Lewis: You’re shit at this
Lewis: Fuck you
So I’m just going to type up a quick run-through and my general opinion on the episode’s events, much in the style of a classic “review”. Needless to say there will be spoilers from now on…
So the episode starts with Jon abandoning his friends in order to… do something? But this is swiftly interrupted by the reunion we’ve all been waiting for in the arrival of Sansa, Brienne and Pod. I have to say, this was a pretty emotionally fulfilling moment, and I doubt there was a single person who didn’t want the surviving Starks to find each other again and have just one bit of goddamn luck. To go along with the touching reunion there was a real nice sibling- bonding session where Sansa realised what a stuck-up little cow she used to be, and Jon actually smiled. These are the moments in Game of Thrones that make all the death and sorrow worth it. Although I guarantee this is going to be shortlived…
I have a feeling that Brienne’s beef with Melissandre and Davos might be a tough obstacle though, and if she even lays a hand on the Onion Knight I’m bloody done with it. I won’t go through that again.
Then we move onto the one of the most frustratingly spoilt characters I’ve ever seen, Robin Arryn feat. Uncle Peter. I was so happy before he showed his smug weasel face again, but on the flipside of that, it looks like Jon might be getting the assistance he needs to take Winterfell in the form of the Knights of the Vale. Either that or he will be joining some other side. Who knows, maybe Baelish will be killed in the process?
From the lovely green of the Vale to the dust and heat of Meereen, Tyrion is trying his hand at politics, but I’m not entirely sure how well this is going to work out in the long-run. His deal with the slavers will create a clash between Danaerys and himself, and seeing as she now commands the whole of the Dothraki (which I’ll get to later), I don’t think she’ll want to support his deal. Tyrion may have overstepped his boundaries with this one.
Which brings us to the love-hate bro-trip of Daario and Jorah, who really almost fuck everything up. Also, I know Jorah is sick an’all, but what was with his pathetic attempt to take down that Dothraki? He’s meant to be at least decent at fighting, and it felt like he’s suddenly been turned into this old wimp in order to highlight Daario’s abilities. I don’t know, it just didn’t seem right. While all this smashing heads with rocks was going on, Danaerys shows once again that she can seemingly inspire anyone who happens to look upon her, as in the case of the young Khal widow.
Then we head on back to King’s Landing where the High Sparrow preaches more pseudo-Christian parables to Margaery, and we see just how poorly Loras is being treated. The Sparrow’s better be taught a lesson in the near future, because they’re getting away with way too much right now.
And now, just as I wanted, the Lannisters and Tyrells are going to be working together to put a stop to all this nonsense. Although, seeing as it’s Game of Thrones and all, I highly doubt this elaborate scheme is going to go the way anybody wants it to. Anybody but the High Sparrow that is.
A brief emotional reunion between Theon and his sister raises the question of what their uncle is up to, and what they’re going to do now that they are together again. It was difficult to tell whether Yara was at all happy to see him, especially after he betrayed her and her men etc. At least it was a happy reunion of sorts… Theon, despite his idiocy, deserves to have something good happen to him for once.
Then Ramsey got to murder Osha rather swiftly while she attempted to do the same to him. I was expecting a little more in terms of how he would kill/use Osha and Rickon, but I guess it is what it is.
Now, we come to the two most exciting events of the episode. First we see a letter from the Boltons delivered to Castle Black, taunting Jon and Sansa, and promising death to pretty much everyone. Finally though, Jon grows a backbone, and it looks as though the Starks are going to war once again, but this time, they don’t exactly have an army apart from the Wildlings. I’m excited to see what comes of this though, because God knows Jon is our hero and Ramsey needs a good ass-whupin’. As for the prolonged eye contact between Brienne and Tormund, I’m very happy for them both.
Finally, we see Danaerys prove herself to the Dothraki, and essentially regain command of an army worthy of invading Westeros and pretty much anywhere else who opposes them. I most definitely wasn’t expecting this, because, to be fair, we’ve had no examples of Dany’s fire-proofness since her surviving Drogo’s funeral pyre, and who really would expect her to burn the entirety of the Dothraki leadership alive? Damn good scene though, and it will certainly, as I mentioned earlier, create a lot of exciting plot progression when she returns to Meereen.
Well, I suppose that’s everything for this week’s Game of Throne’s review-cap. I assure you that Ben will return next week, and I hope you enjoy episode five.
Lewis: Welcome everyone to our review-cap of Game Thrones Season Six Episode Three: Oathbreaker, boy that’s a mouthful. Just as a warning, if you haven’t seen this particular episode yet, and you aren’t using this as a way to lazily catch-up, please read no further.
Spoilers Lie Ahead
Anyway, I need to remember what happened now…
Ben: I was just thinking that. I guess to start off we should talk about Danny reaching the Dothraki city and meeting up with all the other widows.
Lewis: Ah yeah, more boring filler for the Mother of Dragons. I know this is meant to add a little bit of tension to her story, but she’s obviously going to be rescued by Dario and Jorah, so what’s the point?
Ben: I agree there are so many other more interesting things going on almost everywhere else.
Lewis: It’s a shame really, but hopefully Danaerys’ story will kick off again soon. As well as her being held captive by a bunch of has-been-Kharl-wives, we saw a little of what’s to come for Tyrion, Varys and all her people in Meereen.
Ben: I am enjoying the dynamic in Meereen without her. She can get on my nerves at times, and I think it was because of the constant dithering and desire to sort out Slavers Bay when in reality nobody cares about it.
Lewis: It is nice to see a different approach to the situation, and hopefully Tyrion will do a good enough job to convince her that she needs his help.
Ben: Hopefully. We also now know who is funding the Sons of the Harpy.
Lewis: Indeed, although I’m not really sure what they’re going to do about it… we’ll see in the next few episodes I guess. I suppose Arya is next on our list?
Ben: I suppose she is; after completing her daredevil training she has her eyes back again.
Lewis: Yep! And while there were a couple more trials for her to go through, she got them back really quite quickly in the end.
Ben: I am surprised how easy it was, I know she got beaten up a fair bit but to go from blind to sighted within three episodes is incredibly fast; something must be about to kick off.
Lewis: Well they’ve said that after this season they have enough material for 13 more episodes, so they must be trying to move onto a lot of big events quickly. But anyway, I like the mystery behind what’s going on with Arya.
Ben: Things are happening that make it more interesting than her last time in the House. Where to next?
Lewis: I guess King’s Landing?
Ben: Makes sense, so Jaime and Cersi are getting on everyone’s nerves, trying to throw their weight around, and the High Sparrow had a heart to heart with Tommen.
Lewis: Well I actually think that their suggestion to work together with the Tyrells was a very sensible one, but it really is far too late to start asking for help from them… which is a shame. I’m really not liking what the High Sparrow is doing at the moment, he’s one sneaky little fuck.
Ben: I think it is the way they went about it. I like the way the whole small council just walks out on them; anything that weakens the Lannisters is good for me.
Lewis: Well at this point I think that their only hope is to unite, but I suppose they do deserve the shit they were given. I want to see more from Olenna Tyrell as well, she’s easily one of the best characters.
Ben: She is good, I think it is mainly the fact that she is one of the only people that gives Cersei what she deserves.
Lewis: She just doesn’t give a flying fuck about anything anyone thinks of her, which is awesome.
Ben: I was trying to say it in a more composed manner but you aren’t wrong.
Lewis: Fair enough, I kinda ruined that there. Was this the first reveal of Varys’ “little birds” too?
Ben: All of the orphans and poverty stricken kids of King’s Landing appear to have their uses.
Lewis: And now a bunch of them are on the Lannisters’ side… The events of King’s Landing are beginning to get a little more interesting now.
Ben: Lots of ears in lots of places listening for the Lannisters, but who are they going to target? The Sparrows?
Lewis: I would assume so, but I’m sure the Lannisters will want to be finding those two Sand Snakes as well. Anyway, moving North, I suppose the next group to talk about is the Boltons and their new alliance with the Umbers?
Ben: The whole of the North appear to be joining up as mercenaries for the Boltons. Unless Rickon and the Umbers have a plan in place which looks unlikely.
Lewis: Well the Umbers have always been loyal to house Stark, so I think that a plan to kill the Boltons might be more likely than we’d be led to believe, and if it coincides with Jon’s attack on Winterfell (which is obviously coming), they stand a good chance of taking back the North.
Ben: I certainly hope you are right.
Lewis: I think most people will want to see that creepy smile wiped from Ramsey’s face.
Ben: Nothing would give me greater pleasure
Lewis: He’s a great villain. Should we mention the reappearance of Sam and whatserface before moving onto Jon?
Ben: Oh yeah, very little happening on the boat; just Sam throwing his guts up. Now he is off to become a maester?
Lewis: To be honest I’d completely forgotten about them… which sort of says something about how interesting their story is. I guess it was nice to have an update though.
Ben: I completely forgot as well until you mentioned them. Nice to know they are alive.
Lewis: Another story line that I’m sure will mean something in the long run, but for now is a bit dull. Anyway, I guess we should move onto Jon?
Ben: He will probably discover a way to kill the Wight Walkers. Yes, let’s talk about moody, brought-back-from-the-dead Jon.
Lewis: To be honest, I’d be pretty messed up in the head too if my “brothers” stabbed me repeatedly and then some witch brought me back from nothingness. Everyone got what they deserved though.
Ben: Yeah, our speculation about Oly was pointless in the end. He was hanged, and then Jon walked.
Lewis: Well I hoped he’d be hanged, and I have to say I gained some respect for Ser Alliser, at the least he stuck to his guns and did what he thought was right. Yep, Jon’s getting too old for this shit, so the question is, what’s he going to do now?
Ben: I suppose I have to give him credit for not faltering and trying to make a deal. I honestly have no idea, you would presume south, but we don’t know.
Lewis: I reckon Sansa and Brienne will arrive and tell him about Ramsey, which will then make him want to take back Winterfell and seek vengeance against Ramsey.
Ben: He doesn’t have much of an army though, we just have to hope that Sansa being with him would rally loyal Stark bannermen.
Lewis: I think it’ll be a case of a second war in the North scenario. He does have the Wildlings I guess, and maybe Theon will get the Greyjoys to help out.
Ben: Could the Wildlings and a few Greyjoy sailors take Winterfell? He needs the full support of the North, because if they are able to get rid of the Bolton’s they would have to deal with another onslaught from the south.
Lewis: I think that the Umbers will join them, and a few of the other houses will rally behind them too. Hey, this is all speculation, who knows what’ll actually go down.
Ben: Yeah, all just speculation. Well hopefully the writers know what is going on…
Lewis: I’m sure they do, they’re very good. But yeah, I guess that’s just about everything?
Ben: What about Bran’s vision?
Lewis: Oh crap yeah, I forgot about that. That was an awesome sword fight, and it looks like that old fan theory about Jon might be true after all…
Ben: It was good, we got to see a young Ned Stark on the ropes. For those of us that don’t know the theory (definitely not me) could you explain what the theory predicts?
Lewis: Well, if you (the reader) don’t want to know the fan theory, stop reading here. We’ll see you next week, and enjoy the newest episode.
If you don’t mind potential spoilers, read on, and join us in the magical land of speculation…
Ok, so the theory is that Jon, rather than being Ned’s bastard son, is in fact his nephew, son of Rhaegar Targaryen and Lyanna Stark, who we saw being guarded in the Tower of Joy this episode. The fan theory predicted that Ned, rather than just finding his sister dead, finds her son, and takes him as his own to protect him for his sister. This means that Jon is part Targaryen, and has a claim to the throne
Ben: So he could end up being the third Dragon-rider-person then… that would be an interesting development. Thank you for explaining that to everyone who didn’t know it (definitely not me because I knew it).
Lewis: Oh I know you knew it, Ben, don’t worry about that. And just to clarify, the second Dragon-rider-person would be Tyrion if the theories turn out to be true. Things will be getting very interesting very soon… Well, I guess we’ll leave it there then?
Ben: I think that’s a good spot, there should be a lot going on in the next few episodes.
So before the release of the third episode in Game of Thrones season six, here’s our review-cap of episode two. If this review was a bottle of milk, it would be lumpy, look green, smell terrible, and no one would want to be the one to pour it down the sink.
SPOILERS LIE AHEAD
Lewis: So, we’re onto the second episode of Season 6 and things are already beginning to kick off… Shall we start south-ward and head north? (Leave the best ’til last?)
Ben: That works for me. Start in Bravos? Not exactly south but it certainly isn’t the north.
Lewis: Right-O. Arya’s managed to get herself back with the assassins pretty damn quickly, hasn’t she?
Ben: I was surprised how easy it was; just reject an offer to get your sight back and you are back in the club.
Lewis: I thought that at first, but I reckon that was just to see whether she is ready to take some other tests for redemption. I think there are still quite a few trials ahead of her back at the House of Black and White.
Ben: That’s true, it may not be the sanctuary she believes it to be. I think she has learnt her lesson though now.
Lewis: Well you’d hope so. Having your sight taken away is a pretty severe punishment… Nothing from Dorn this episode though, huh?
Ben: Nope, they’re just letting that little revolution bubble away.
Lewis: I wonder where they’re going to go with that? Tommen mentioned trying to find the two Sand Snakes who killed the prince, but I’m not really sure how much of an impact they’ll have on the main story.
Ben: It is probably a bit of a side story to make it look like something big and important is going to happen at King’s Landing while Danny is still wandering about with the Dothraki.
Lewis: Ah yes, we didn’t actually get anything else on that side of things either… Tyrion releasing the dragons was pretty fun though
Ben: Yeah, good levels of tension as well- It was a pretty fun sequence
Lewis: A dark part of me wanted Tyrion to be eaten or burnt just to see the internet’s outcry, but I’m glad he was ok. It’ll be interesting to see what comes of them being free though.
Ben: I wouldn’t put it past the show for that to happen though, even if it would be awful. The question is will they behave or will they start killing shit?
Lewis: Hmmmmm I’ve read an interesting theory that’s sort-of been bolstered by the events of this episode, but I don’t think I’ll talk about it here in case of pre-emptive spoilers… It’s a good-un though. So after Mereen, we move onto King’s Landing?
Ben: I suppose that is the next natural stop. We see the Lannisters make up and Jaime threaten the High Sparrow.
Lewis: I think he should’ve done it. He could take the other little weirdos who turned up single-handedly (Haha)
Ben: I don’t think he could. Common knowledge that he can’t do anything with his left hand…
Lewis: I just wanted him to kill as many of those idiots as possible.
Ben: I know what you mean, I am sure they will get a good kicking soon enough.
Lewis: In other news, Tommen is growing up a bit, but he’s still a bit wimpy to be a good King just yet.
Ben: It really winds me up how wet he is. I mean, at least his mum has committed herself to being a bitch; I give her credit for that.
Lewis: I’m certain he’ll come into his own soon enough, and least he isn’t a psychopath (cough, Joffrey, cough).
I also really want to see the Zombie-Mountain’s face soon.
Ben: I want to see Zombie-Mountain kill someone.
Lewis: We did! That drunk guy who was trying to be funny got his skull crushed.
Ben: Oh yeah, but that was a bit shit. I want to see more Mountain-killing-action.
Lewis: Fair enough, it was pretty funny though. Another things that was pretty funny was the ridiculously dangerous bridge that Balon Greyjoy was thrown off of. Why would you even have that? It’s just a hazard.
Ben: To be honest I forgot about them, I didn’t have a clue who they were when it first cut there. Looks like they’re giving us another little sub-plot then.
Lewis: Yeah, and now Theon is heading back I guess there’s going to be a power struggle between him and his sister (who, by the way, he fingered that one time… Just reminding you how weird that was…) and their uncle.
Ben: I do remember that but thanks for bringing it up.
Lewis: You’re welcome.
Ben: I am not sure he will want to be King of the Iron-Born though. I think it will just be his sister and uncle fighting (over him maybe?).
Lewis: I can’t see him just sitting by… I think he and his sister may end up co-ruling, even if that is highly unlikely.
Ben: That’s a strong possibility, or maybe he’ll be a puppet king for his uncle.
Lewis: Knowing Game of Thrones it won’t end well, whichever option is chosen. And I guess linked to this arc is Ramsey’s absolutely brutal murder of his entire family.
Ben: That was dark. I thought he might kill Roose but the way he killed Walda and the baby was pretty grim even for Game of Thrones; some serious retribution is needed.
Lewis: Indeed, and I think that’ll come in the form of Mr Jon Snow. He’s back, baby.
Ben: He bloody is. We all knew it was going to happen, but fair play to them for not giving it away.
Lewis: They did a decent job of covering it up, but like you said, it was fairly obvious it was going to happen. Although, and this may be a little too much speculation, how do we know that it’s actually Jon who’s come back?
Ben: Who else could it be? We have seen people brought back from the dead before by Red Priests and that worked out fine.
Lewis: That’s fair, but I feel like it’s just a little too easy. Also, are his stab wounds going to heal or is he just gonna be left with gaping wounds in his torso?
Ben: I suppose that is true, we shall have to wait and see. Eye-patch man tended to heal but was left with scars so if that is anything to go by he should heal properly.
Lewis: Ah fair enough, I forgot that the Hound injured him.
Ben: I want to make mention of the Wildlings storming Castle Black; that giant is my new favourite character.
Lewis: I’ll agree with you there, he’s pretty frickin’ awesome, and the wildlings are just getting better and better. Do you think that the rest of the Nightswatch will follow Jon once they’ve punished the guys who stabbed him?
Ben: They seem like a persuadable bunch and with the remaining wildlings supporting him they don’t have much choice.
Lewis: That’s very true, and I doubt many of them are as againsts him as Ser Alliser and Olly. Well, I suppose we should mention Bran and his vision of Hodor, as well as Max Von Sydow being amazing with only a few lines of dialogue.
Ben: They all seemed pretty angry in the first episode once they realised what Thorne did. Bloody love Max von Sydow, bloody legend, I think him just being there might make Bran’s story enjoyable. It was definitely interesting to see a talking Hodor.
Lewis: I can’t see too many of them willing to follow Thorne to their deaths.
Those are my thoughts exactly; he adds a nice bit of weight to an otherwise slow story-arc. I’m definitely interested to see what the significance of Hodor in the vision is. There are a few theories floating about, but my initial thoughts were that he’ll get kicked in the head by a horse.
Ben: I thought it would be the result of hitting young Ned, like a severe punishment type thing. But a horse hoof to the head could be easily likely.
Lewis: To be fair I thought they would actually fight and it might happen through that too, but I guess not… Anyway, at least Bran’s plot is gaining a little substance.
Ben: It definitely needs it, both the stories of Arya and Bran needed a bit of a kick up the arse and with the redemption of Arya and the Bran development we might be getting some solid Stark action.
Lewis: I can’t agree more. Now the Starks can rally and hit back at all the wankers who fucked then over in the first place.
Well, I think that just about does it for this episode, overall I thought it was a really solid one, and of course the return of Mr Snow just topped it off.
Ben: I think this may be one of my favourite episodes, even without the return of Jon Snow, a lot happened to push the story forward- good levels of action and humour as well.
Lewis: I have to agree with you there. Bring on episode three!