Game of Thrones S6E09: The Battle of the Bastards

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I know, I know, we’re late again for the American audience, but hey, I’m lazy. Sue me. Anyway, here’s our review-cap for what could possibly be the greatest episode of Game of Thrones ever. Enjoy!

Allergy Warning: May contain spoilers.

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Lewis: I don’t think I’m exaggerating when I say that “The Battle of the Bastards” was potentially the best Game of Thrones episode we’ve ever seen.

Ben: I don’t think you are, it’s definitely the best one I can remember. Perhaps because the good guys won for a change? Anyway, where do you want to start?

Lewis: It’s probably going to go downhill from here, but it really was nice to have an episode where everything hung in the balance as usual but the good guys actually came out on top. As for where to start, shall we talk about Dany’s little battle before talking about the main event?

Ben: Yeah go on then, let’s get the side show out of the way. All the dragons came together to kick some ass with some solid computer generated effects.

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Lewis: They were a lot more impressive than they have been in the past, and we got a nice look at just how powerful they can be (and they’ll only get stronger as they grow).

Ben: They will indeed, the Masters didn’t stand a chance. So, now Dany has crippled the masters and removed the Sons of the Harpy, surely she is going to Westeros next with the help of the two Greyjoy’s?

Lewis: Well I don’t think the Masters are entirely finished yet, but given the incredible pace at which this season has been moving I wouldn’t be at all surprised if she turned up at Kings Landing at the end of the finale.

Ben: In past seasons it would have taken the entire 10 episodes for Dany to get away from the Dothraki, so you may be right. What do you make of the Tyrion/Dany/Greyjoy meeting?

Lewis: I really enjoyed that scene, especially the dynamic between Dany and Yara with the casual flirting (potential relationship?) Although the one gripe I have is that they seemed to manage to get to Meereen very, very, quickly considering just how far away it is from the Iron Islands.

Ben: It was quite entertaining, and I kind of get that vibe, but I don’t think anything will come of it.
I suppose you are right there but we don’t know how much time passed, and if I am being honest, I’d much rather things jump forward cutting unimportant parts rather than drag everything out.

Lewis: The thing is that journeys have always played a big role in the development of characters in Game of Thrones, like the Hound and Arya, Jamie and Brienne, and when the Starks headed down to King’s Landing, so it’s a shame for them to skip this particular one, especially when the characters (Yara in particular) aren’t as fleshed out as others… I do see your point though.

Ben: I take your point, perhaps she will be focused on more in the next series. Do you want to move to the main event?

Lewis: Yeah I suppose we should, considering just how goddamn epic the entire thing was.

Ben: So epic I don’t really know where to start. I suppose the first confrontation between the bastards Jon and Ramsey, where Jon tries to play the game attempting to get Ramsey to over commit and make a mistake. Which, to be honest, probably played a hand in Rickon’s very public execution.

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Lewis: Yes, although as Sansa said, I think Rickon was dead no matter what they did. It was interesting to finally see Jon and Ramsey meet, even if it was just to trade (kind of) witty banter and promise each other death. Sansa also got quite a nice snide remark in too, which was satisfying.

Ben: Oh yeah, but I think Jon’s attempt to goad Ramsey was the reason why he killed him the way he did. Then we had the confrontation between the siblings in the tent about the plan for the next day.

Lewis: Yeah, that was pretty good, and Sansa did have a good point about her not being a kid anymore. However, WHY DIDN’T SHE TELL JON ABOUT LITTLEFINGER? They could have planned a tactic that still would have caused Ramsey to engage his entire force without getting most of Jon’s army killed! For all she knew Jon could have died!
Look, I’m happy that Sansa has turned into a bit of a badass, but that doesn’t justify gambling on her family’s lives.

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Ben: I did wonder why she did what she did, I suppose she didn’t want Jon to stop her from going for help? I am definitely happy she is finally standing up for herself though.

Lewis: I’m not that happy about it, she’s spent too much time around Littlefinger for my liking…

Ben: Shall we move onto the harrowing battle?

Lewis: I suppose we should mention just how incredible/disturbing/depressing that sequence was.

Ben: It was incredibly grim, but at the same time wonderfully shot with incredible sound-editing which came together to produce the harrow, grim reality of medieval warfare.

Lewis: Oh yeah, the direction of this episode was absolutely superb. My favourite shot was when Jon was getting ready to face his doom at the hands of the charging cavalry, I got goosebumps over that scene. The follow-up continuous shot was pretty awesome too.

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Ben: It was pretty relentless, I was edging closer and closer to the edge of my seat throughout.

Lewis: Just to clarify, I never, ever talk/shout at the TV for anything, but this episode I was continuously swearing at the characters, muttering “no, no, no” and punching the air with excitement. I tip my hat to the creators for this one, top job. I was convinced that Tormund or Ser Davos were going to die though.

Ben: Oh yeah, there was a lot of shouting on my end, and I honestly thought Tormund was a goner too. So much for your theory about the Umber’s changing side when it came down to the fight.

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Lewis: Hey, listen, that’s not “my theory”, I read it online…

Ben: Well you mentioned it here so, by association, it is your theory.

Lewis: That won’t hold up in court and you know it
Anyway, I’m glad Tormund didn’t die, and, to be honest, I know Wun Wun was a great guy and all, but if anyone had to go I’m glad it was him.

Ben: At least Wun wun died like a hero, he became a character I really wanted to see because he was a bad ass.

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Lewis: Yeah he was a big brave bastard…
Speaking of bastards, how bloody satisfying was it to see Jon beat the shit out of Ramsay?

Ben: Some heroes hold the door, others break them down.
Never has a more vile character deserved such a grim ending.

Lewis: Indeed, it was nice to see the smug, sadistic smile slip from Ramsey’s face. It was also nice to see the Direwolf banner being raised over the battlements of Winterfell once more.

Ben: Got bloody goosebumps as the Stark emblem was raised. What do you make of the Sansa Ramsey confrontation before his grim death?

Lewis: I liked that Sansa finally served the justice we’ve all been waiting for, and he deserved everything he got, but I’m still worried about the direction she’s headed in.

Ben: Yes, after all she has gone through she deserved some violent vengeance. What do you make of Ramsey comments about always being a part of her? I’ve read a theory that she’s pregnant with a Bolton baby?

Lewis: To be honest I really don’t buy that theory, and I really hope it isn’t true because it feels a little weak. I’m certain he just meant that his abuse of her has changed the way she treats other people and views the world (like the way she manipulated Jon), and that he has had a lasting effect upon her mentally, becoming part of her.

Ben: Your theory makes a lot more sense, and you are right it would be a weak plot decision. Just thought it was worth a mention, even if it was to hopefully debunk it.

Lewis: It was definitely worth a mention, and it might even come true because of how ambiguous it was (although I hope it doesn’t). So next episode it looks as though Ser Davos will be confronting the Red Woman over the burning of Stannis’ daughter.

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Ben: It was a nice little scene with Davos and Tormund before he found the burnt stag. I was a bit worried it would affect his judgement in the battle, but it seems like he will be after some redemption in the next episode instead.

Lewis: Ah yeah, that was a good scene, I’m glad they’re getting along. I don’t think he’s confirmed his fears just yet, but he’s definitely suspicious. It’ll be interesting to see what Jon makes of it all, since he’ll probably be the one who has to pass judgement.

Ben: So am I, two top-blokes right there. It would be an interesting watch as he battles between the two sides.

Lewis: Indeed, punish the Red Woman for burning a child or deny Ser Davos justice in order to keep her counsel… I suppose that’s just about it then?

Ben: I guess it is. What a bloody good episode.

Lewis: The best yet I reckon. Bring on the season six finale then!

Ben: Hear, hear!

 

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Game of Thrones s6E07: The Broken Man

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A day late yet again (at least for the USA and those of us who prefer to add the spice of illegality to our Game of Thrones), here is our review-cap for Game of Thrones: The Broken Man. As usual there are a bunch of spoilers in this piece, so only read on if; A) You’ve seen the episode and forgotten it already, B) You haven’t seen it, can’t be bothered to watch it, and want to catch up via text for some reason, or C) You literally have nothing else to do.

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Anyway, here we go.

Ben: Quite a few interesting things came up in this week’s episode…

Lewis: Hell yeah they did. He’s back!

Ben: The Hound.

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Lewis: The one and only.

Ben: Bloody love that guy. I also quite liked Ian Mcshane’s character.

Lewis: I know right? I was pretty annoyed that he was only in one episode, but I suppose it was some good motivation for the Hound.

Ben: Just to clarify – He died – yeah I was a bit worried he was losing his desire to kill anyone who crossed him. I pity the guys who killed all those people; the Hound means business.

Lewis: I suppose we should include that bit of information. I don’t really mind if he doesn’t want to kill anyone, but if this is what it takes to get him back in the action then I’m all for another revenge plot.

Ben: A bit a background: The Hound was found by Mcshane’s character as close to death as you can get following his fight with Brianne. Mcshane, who turned out to be a former soldier turned Septon, took The Hound in and fixed him up. Mcshane had a more liberal view on the gods making him a pretty likeable bloke, but as with all likeable characters in GoT he died, hung from the rafters of the church he was building by the Brotherhood without Banners. And now The Hound we love is back.

Lewis: Well I mean I’m sure most people reading this have seen the episode and know about that…

Ben: You should have been a bit clearer, just wasted five minutes thinking and typing that.

Lewis: Awfully sorry old chap. I’m just interested to see what he’s going to do now/who he’s going to interact with. He has to re-join the main plot right?

Ben: I am sure he will, he might even get involved with the events at Riverrun (nice segue).

Lewis: That’s true, and maybe he’ll meet Brienne again at the siege? What did you make of The Blackfish?

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Ben: I’d want them to have a fight again and for the Hound to win, but then again I’d rather the good guys win overall. As for The Blackfish I actually quite like him, he seems like a pretty hard guy, but the battle hardened old warrior is pretty likeable in his own way. He had an interesting exchange with Jaime.

Lewis: Yes, and while I think the Hound will want revenge, Ian McShane’s character has hopefully convinced him that it’s not worth it, maybe they’ll reconcile?
Mmm, he definitely seems like a take-no-shit kinda guy… As for his exchange with Jamie, I really enjoyed that scene. We know the kind of guy he is and how he contrasts against Jamie’s personality now.

Ben: I doubt we’ll see any happy reconciliations. He appears to be one of those classic GoT grey characters that isn’t a saint but they make the show enjoyable. It should be a fairly enjoyable subplot away from the Starks and Kings Landing. Speaking of which, the formation of the Stark army hasn’t gone to plan has it?

Lewis: No not exactly… I’m a fan of Lady Mormont though, for a child actor she was pretty good, and it was a funny, if slightly saddening, scene. So they have a grand total of about 2200 men and women?

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Ben: The entire sequence of asking and rejection was incredibly saddening, but I do agree that she is at another level compared to most child actors (even, dare I say it, compared to many of the other young actors within Game of Thrones itself). I think the North has reached its breaking point, there is only so much they can take.

Lewis: Well they may soon be receiving aid in the form of Littlefinger and the Knights of the Vale; I assume that’s who Sansa was writing to anyway? And maybe The Blackfish can offer some aid too?

Ben: Probably, but I think the Starks and Littlefinger will need to help the Blackfish before he can help them.

Lewis: They’re both in a bit of a poor situation, my prediction is Littlefinger will come and help, they’ll attack Winterfell, the Umbers will turn on the Boltons, then they’ll make their way down south to kill the Freys, rescue Edmure and help the Blackfish. Or they’ll all die trying. Who knows?

Ben: Maybe, once they get a bit more support with the arrival of the Vale, Northern Houses like the Glovers will come around? I mean, I would like things to happen that way but this is Game of Thrones not a Marvel Movie, things rarely go to plan.

Lewis: I don’t know, it feels different this season, and I’ve been trying to put it into words but I can’t quite put my finger on it. I don’t know whether it’s a different writing staff or what, but it feels more hopeful and fast-paced than it used to (which isn’t necessarily a good thing). But you’re probably right, it’s not going to go to plan. So apart from quickly mentioning the return of Bron (fuck yes!), shall we move to King’s Landing?

Ben: I see your point but from what I have read they are deliberately trying to pick up the pace of the series. I suppose we should move southwards, and it appears, as we thought, Margaery was playing the game all along.

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Lewis: Thankfully. I would’ve been annoyed if she wasn’t. I’m really hoping nothing bad happens to Olenna now; that would be a tragedy. As for Cersei, it looks like she’s on her own now…

Ben: Olenna was not mincing her words was she? She can’t die, but at the same time I want to see a fair amount of her; such a waste of her character if she stays hidden away in High garden.

Lewis: I know what you mean, but I’d rather her be hidden away in High Garden than killed in King’s Landing. Who knows, maybe we’ll get to see some of High Garden? I’d like that.

Ben: Olenna is no friend of the Lannisters. Perhaps the Tyrell’s could be persuaded to help the Starks?

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Lewis: That would be awesome, but if that could be the case I think it’s a long way off yet. Is it just Arya now then?

Ben: She was so confident walking the streets of Bravos, she was always going to be found by the Waif and she was.

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Lewis: There’s definitely more to her actions than we’ve been led to think though. One of the more believable theories is that she was intentionally drawing out the Waif by wandering around spending money, and was wearing blood bags (supplied by her theatre friend) to feign being wounded, then her blood trail will lead the Waif to her where she’ll have Needle waiting.

Ben: I haven’t read that, but it does sound believable.

Lewis: I prefer that theory to them just writing her to be a fucking moron wandering around thinking she’s in no danger. Makes a lot more sense…

Ben: I suppose that is true. It will be interesting to see how the 4 different storylines play out and merge together.

Lewis: Indeed, we’re definitely getting close to some kind of alliance between houses. Before we finish, I just realised that we forgot about Theon and Yara stopping off for some sweet poontang.

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Ben: Yeah, Theon is now being pressured into drinking. Seems like they have taken their Uncles idea of selling their fleet to Dany then.

Lewis: I’m pretty happy about that, I think they’re a slightly better choice than their uncle… This was nice moment between Yara and Theon too, even if it was a little blunt.

Ben: Yeah, she was doing it because she wants her brother back.

Lewis: Indeed. Besides, if they do team up with Dany, Theon will have a pretty good support group in the Unsullied; they know a thing or two about not having penises.

Ben: I am sure he is looking forward to group therapy sessions with the Unsullied about their lack of a Johnson.

Lewis: Who wouldn’t? Well I guess that’s that for this week then?

Ben: I think we have covered everything.

Lewis: Awesome, bring on next week’s episode!

Game of Thrones S6E06: Blood of My Blood

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Apologies for the lack of a review-cap for episode 5, but I’m afraid that episode (despite being a pretty important one) will have to stay lost in the annals of time. However, we’re back now and ready to talk about last week’s episode, Blood of my Blood.

Spoilers lie ahead…

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Lewis: Alright, alright, alright, shall we get this thing on the road?

Ben: I think we should. Where do you want to start, the end of last week’s episode or straight into the latest episode?

Lewis: I think a brief moment of silence for Hodor should be enough… RIP

Ben: It was pretty hard viewing, he held the door.

Lewis: While Bran, who is beginning to become a very dislikeable character, got away. But oh well, it’s done now.

Ben: Yeah, how many more people need to die for him to make a meaningful contribution? He got Max von Sydow killed too. Anyway, shall we move onto the latest episode and the return of a long forgotten character?

Lewis: Hell yeah, Benjen Stark is back. I’ve been waiting for this for a very, very long time

Ben: He’s back with some Dragon Glass stuck in his heart, and to be fair he is pretty badass now.

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Lewis: I’m just glad he’s not dead, although he looks a bit worse for wear. I’m interested to see where he takes Bran and (Meera?) now though, and just how important Bran actually is.

Ben: I think you would look worse for wear too if you had a fight with the Night King. He had better be important; enough people have died.

Lewis: Well Benjen Stark certainly seemed to think so, and I doubt he’d be wrong about that. So who shall we mention next?

Ben: Kings Landing, the Sparrows and the Lannisters? Or Sam going home?

Lewis: Let’s talk about Sam and his bitter old dad…

Ben: The worst dad in the world. Bit awkward round the dinner table wasn’t it?

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Lewis: It was, but Gilly showed him what’s what, and I really didn’t expect Sam to take that sword. So now the three people with Valaryian steel blades are Jon, Brienne and Sam, which is cool I guess.

Ben: She did indeed, and I was a bit surprised by him taking it too; it is just a shame Sam has no idea how to use the bloody thing.

Lewis: Haha! Maybe he’ll pass it onto someone who does? I just hope his dad doesn’t catch him now.

Ben: let’s hope he gets away, but knowing Game of Thrones his father will end up finding him.

Lewis: Probably, but we shall see I guess… We got a brief insight into what’s been going on with Waldo Frey at the moment too.

Ben: We know he is losing the River lands and Riverrun thanks to the work of the Black Fish, but he appears to have a few cards up his sleeve unfortunately.

Lewis: Indeed, and although I don’t know much about this Blackfish guy, if he’s against that son of a bitch Waldo Frey I’m happy for him. The bad news is that Jamie Lannister is about to come and kick his doors down.

Ben: He was in series 3 briefly; he seemed like an alright bloke. You never know, if he can hold out until a northern army reforms they might be able to get him out of trouble. Or maybe the Knights of the Vale will rock up and bail him out?

Lewis: I feel like Baelish will end up helping whoever looks like they’re going to win, which will hopefully be Blackfish’s forces, and then Jon and Sansa may actually have a chance of taking the north back.

Ben: Well in an interview Aiden Gillen said his character wasn’t going to be a bad guy in this series. But we shall have to wait and see, hopefully the good guys can get a win.

Lewis: Oh come on he’s always a bad guy, I doubt he can redeem himself now. It would be nice to finally see the Starks back on top again though.

Ben: Hey, don’t shoot the messenger, I am just telling you what I have read.

Lewis: Alright, alright I just don’t trust that guy. I don’t like what he’s about. We also had that business with the High Sparrow in King’s Landing.

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Ben: Good old Tommin has been as wet as ever and has turned into one of the High Sparrow’s minions.

Lewis: Yes we have yet another Lannister sending the entire kingdom into a spiralling dive towards destruction I liked Jamie and Olenna’s plan, but they got played pretty nicely…

Ben: It was a nice idea but I could always see something like this happening.

Lewis: Despite how badly it went I’m sure Margaery has something up her sleeve, there’s no way she’s actually begun to believe in that religion. I think the High Sparrow will get a little too cocky now he’s won this battle.

Ben: It does look like she played the game to enable her to escape. Things are going well for the sparrows which generally means they are about to get a right good kicking.

Lewis: I look forward to it immensely… In other news, the Mother of Dragons gave yet another generic inspiring speech, which, to be honest, was a little pointless.

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Ben: Yeah, “look at me more generic Dothraki people that aren’t important. I can ride a dragon and am going to go across the sea and take the crown at some point in the not too distant future… maybe… probably… I’ll get round to it eventually”… that sums it up I think.

Lewis: I think that’s a good breakdown. Oh and I liked the little “You’d need a thousand ships to bring your army to Westeros” line, considering the fact that that was pretty much the number that Theon’s uncle planned to build… very convenient.

Ben: So we know what is going next in the not too distant future…. maybe… probably at some point.

Lewis: Yes, and if Danaerys teams up with the uncle, is she really a hero? Or will she become a villain?

Ben: An interesting question, I think she may become a Villain by association. Depends what uncle Greyjoy gets up to next I suppose.

Lewis: Yes, indeed it does. So I guess that just leaves us with Arya’s attack of conscience and decision to leave the House of Black and White? (Which I’ve been hoping for to be honest).

Ben: It was inevitable, she now just has to avoid the Faceless Man’s sidekick.

Lewis: Or stab her through the eye with Needle?

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Ben: That would work, but would the Faceless Man then come after her? I doubt she could handle him.

Lewis: I’m sure that’s the way this whole thing will work out, but who knows, maybe she’ll get lucky? I think it’ll be much more interesting if it’s the Faceless Man after her.

Ben: I would be pretty scared for her well-being if I’m honest.

Lewis: But it’ll be fun though!

Ben: I’ll take your word for it. Anything else?

Lewis: No I’m pretty sure that’s about it.

Ben: Fantastic.

Lewis: Awesome, I guess we’ll see you all next week then for another Game of Thrones Review-Cap.