So before the release of the third episode in Game of Thrones season six, here’s our review-cap of episode two. If this review was a bottle of milk, it would be lumpy, look green, smell terrible, and no one would want to be the one to pour it down the sink.
SPOILERS LIE AHEAD
Lewis: So, we’re onto the second episode of Season 6 and things are already beginning to kick off… Shall we start south-ward and head north? (Leave the best ’til last?)
Ben: That works for me. Start in Bravos? Not exactly south but it certainly isn’t the north.
Lewis: Right-O. Arya’s managed to get herself back with the assassins pretty damn quickly, hasn’t she?
Ben: I was surprised how easy it was; just reject an offer to get your sight back and you are back in the club.
Lewis: I thought that at first, but I reckon that was just to see whether she is ready to take some other tests for redemption. I think there are still quite a few trials ahead of her back at the House of Black and White.
Ben: That’s true, it may not be the sanctuary she believes it to be. I think she has learnt her lesson though now.
Lewis: Well you’d hope so. Having your sight taken away is a pretty severe punishment… Nothing from Dorn this episode though, huh?
Ben: Nope, they’re just letting that little revolution bubble away.
Lewis: I wonder where they’re going to go with that? Tommen mentioned trying to find the two Sand Snakes who killed the prince, but I’m not really sure how much of an impact they’ll have on the main story.
Ben: It is probably a bit of a side story to make it look like something big and important is going to happen at King’s Landing while Danny is still wandering about with the Dothraki.
Lewis: Ah yes, we didn’t actually get anything else on that side of things either… Tyrion releasing the dragons was pretty fun though
Ben: Yeah, good levels of tension as well- It was a pretty fun sequence
Lewis: A dark part of me wanted Tyrion to be eaten or burnt just to see the internet’s outcry, but I’m glad he was ok. It’ll be interesting to see what comes of them being free though.
Ben: I wouldn’t put it past the show for that to happen though, even if it would be awful. The question is will they behave or will they start killing shit?
Lewis: Hmmmmm I’ve read an interesting theory that’s sort-of been bolstered by the events of this episode, but I don’t think I’ll talk about it here in case of pre-emptive spoilers… It’s a good-un though. So after Mereen, we move onto King’s Landing?
Ben: I suppose that is the next natural stop. We see the Lannisters make up and Jaime threaten the High Sparrow.
Lewis: I think he should’ve done it. He could take the other little weirdos who turned up single-handedly (Haha)
Ben: I don’t think he could. Common knowledge that he can’t do anything with his left hand…
Lewis: I just wanted him to kill as many of those idiots as possible.
Ben: I know what you mean, I am sure they will get a good kicking soon enough.
Lewis: In other news, Tommen is growing up a bit, but he’s still a bit wimpy to be a good King just yet.
Ben: It really winds me up how wet he is. I mean, at least his mum has committed herself to being a bitch; I give her credit for that.
Lewis: I’m certain he’ll come into his own soon enough, and least he isn’t a psychopath (cough, Joffrey, cough).
I also really want to see the Zombie-Mountain’s face soon.
Ben: I want to see Zombie-Mountain kill someone.
Lewis: We did! That drunk guy who was trying to be funny got his skull crushed.
Ben: Oh yeah, but that was a bit shit. I want to see more Mountain-killing-action.
Lewis: Fair enough, it was pretty funny though. Another things that was pretty funny was the ridiculously dangerous bridge that Balon Greyjoy was thrown off of. Why would you even have that? It’s just a hazard.
Ben: To be honest I forgot about them, I didn’t have a clue who they were when it first cut there. Looks like they’re giving us another little sub-plot then.
Lewis: Yeah, and now Theon is heading back I guess there’s going to be a power struggle between him and his sister (who, by the way, he fingered that one time… Just reminding you how weird that was…) and their uncle.
Ben: I do remember that but thanks for bringing it up.
Lewis: You’re welcome.
Ben: I am not sure he will want to be King of the Iron-Born though. I think it will just be his sister and uncle fighting (over him maybe?).
Lewis: I can’t see him just sitting by… I think he and his sister may end up co-ruling, even if that is highly unlikely.
Ben: That’s a strong possibility, or maybe he’ll be a puppet king for his uncle.
Lewis: Knowing Game of Thrones it won’t end well, whichever option is chosen. And I guess linked to this arc is Ramsey’s absolutely brutal murder of his entire family.
Ben: That was dark. I thought he might kill Roose but the way he killed Walda and the baby was pretty grim even for Game of Thrones; some serious retribution is needed.
Lewis: Indeed, and I think that’ll come in the form of Mr Jon Snow. He’s back, baby.
Ben: He bloody is. We all knew it was going to happen, but fair play to them for not giving it away.
Lewis: They did a decent job of covering it up, but like you said, it was fairly obvious it was going to happen. Although, and this may be a little too much speculation, how do we know that it’s actually Jon who’s come back?
Ben: Who else could it be? We have seen people brought back from the dead before by Red Priests and that worked out fine.
Lewis: That’s fair, but I feel like it’s just a little too easy. Also, are his stab wounds going to heal or is he just gonna be left with gaping wounds in his torso?
Ben: I suppose that is true, we shall have to wait and see. Eye-patch man tended to heal but was left with scars so if that is anything to go by he should heal properly.
Lewis: Ah fair enough, I forgot that the Hound injured him.
Ben: I want to make mention of the Wildlings storming Castle Black; that giant is my new favourite character.
Lewis: I’ll agree with you there, he’s pretty frickin’ awesome, and the wildlings are just getting better and better. Do you think that the rest of the Nightswatch will follow Jon once they’ve punished the guys who stabbed him?
Ben: They seem like a persuadable bunch and with the remaining wildlings supporting him they don’t have much choice.
Lewis: That’s very true, and I doubt many of them are as againsts him as Ser Alliser and Olly. Well, I suppose we should mention Bran and his vision of Hodor, as well as Max Von Sydow being amazing with only a few lines of dialogue.
Ben: They all seemed pretty angry in the first episode once they realised what Thorne did. Bloody love Max von Sydow, bloody legend, I think him just being there might make Bran’s story enjoyable. It was definitely interesting to see a talking Hodor.
Lewis: I can’t see too many of them willing to follow Thorne to their deaths.
Those are my thoughts exactly; he adds a nice bit of weight to an otherwise slow story-arc. I’m definitely interested to see what the significance of Hodor in the vision is. There are a few theories floating about, but my initial thoughts were that he’ll get kicked in the head by a horse.
Ben: I thought it would be the result of hitting young Ned, like a severe punishment type thing. But a horse hoof to the head could be easily likely.
Lewis: To be fair I thought they would actually fight and it might happen through that too, but I guess not… Anyway, at least Bran’s plot is gaining a little substance.
Ben: It definitely needs it, both the stories of Arya and Bran needed a bit of a kick up the arse and with the redemption of Arya and the Bran development we might be getting some solid Stark action.
Lewis: I can’t agree more. Now the Starks can rally and hit back at all the wankers who fucked then over in the first place.
Well, I think that just about does it for this episode, overall I thought it was a really solid one, and of course the return of Mr Snow just topped it off.
Ben: I think this may be one of my favourite episodes, even without the return of Jon Snow, a lot happened to push the story forward- good levels of action and humour as well.
Lewis: I have to agree with you there. Bring on episode three!