Coffee and Crap TV


Benportrait1I don’t even like coffee, but that isn’t the point of this…crap TV is the point. You have to admit though, I shoe horned that Blur song in like a pro…

Now that my exams are done I honestly have nothing to do with my time, except for some writing and sending a few emails, but other than that there’s nothing else I can think of. This has resulted in me planning my entire day around crap TV. And it is crap, there is no other word to describe it.

I honestly think I watch one good TV show (Game of Thrones, if you were wondering) especially now that Gotham is finished (go watch that, it is really good). All of my other viewing has the E4 stamp of approval, which means… it is crap, normally American crap, which is the worst type of crap. I seriously plan my day around this stuff; I will wake up, have breakfast, watch a film (bit productive) and by that time I will be ready to head downstairs to watch 2 and a half hours of crap, kicking off with How I Met Your Mother repeats. REPEATS. It wasn’t particularly funny the first time I saw it, so why am I watching it again?

Due to a complete lack of effort I won’t move as The Big Bang Theory finds its way on to the tele’. Our remote is broken, so I have to get off my arse to change the channel. That is my excuse for sitting through it anyway. It just isn’t funny. The characters are some of the most irritating I have ever had the misfortune to watch, and how it ever got this far I don’t know. The acting is so wooden a door could and would do a better job. It isn’t that they are particularly bad actors, over time the cast appears to have become lazy and bored, resulting in dull and uninspired performances. Kaley Cuoco-Sweeting manages yawn her way through every episode, acting with just two facial expressions… for crying out loud why do we watch this crap? I know it isn’t just me, there must be a few others that watch it.  At least How I Met Your Mother has a degree of character interest and invokes a bit of an emotional response (The Time Travellers Episode in Series 8 being one in particular). The Big Bang Theory only manages to irritate me, I do not know why I watch it.


Finally, The Goldbergs will come on. I quite like The Goldbergs, for one thing it is something that isn’t repeats of How I Met Your Mother or The Big Bang Theory or Rules of Engagement (which even I, a connoisseur of crap TV, won’t watch.) on E4. However, the issue is that it is usually a repeat of the previous night’s episode, so why am I watching it again? As well as the E4 crap you can throw in a couple of episodes of Come Dine With Me for good measure, just because nothing else is on.

Why am I watching any of it?

I will tell you why I watch it, because it is switch off tele, that’s why. When I should be preparing for exams or lectures during term time it is nice to have that bit of time to sit, shovel food into my face, and not have to think about anything. Now I am finished for the summer I don’t have to think at all, so the only reason I can think for watching this crap is sheer damn laziness. I could be reading, I could go out (but I live in Portswood and that really wouldn’t be beneficial to my health), I could go to the gym, but it is easier to sit I front of our broken tele’ and watch something I have already seen 10 times before.

It is strangely fulfilling, you should try it.

– Ben


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